Too Much of a Good Thing?

Amplify’d from www.foxnews.com

Too Much of a Good Thing? When Sex Lasts Too Long

When it comes to sex and the male member, the laws of physics don’t always apply. What goes up sometimes comes down all too quickly, or sometimes stays up all too long. Never-ending stamina—and an always-hard penis— may sound great on paper, but in reality, it can be awkward and exhausting for both of you.

This condition, delayed ejaculation (DE), used to be relatively rare compared to other male sexual issues like erectile disorder (ED) and premature ejaculation (PE), but as I discuss in my new book Penis Problems: A Men’s Guide, DE is rapidly becoming a major issue.

One of the major reasons is the rapid proliferation of Internet porn—these days, all you have to do is log on to your laptop to be a few clicks away from everything from the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue to hardcore video clips. Easy access to porn has made frequent masturbation among men more common, which turn can increase the time it takes to reach orgasm and ejaculate during real sex. With so many varieties of porn at your fingertips, you may get in the habit of having a steady flow of sexual novelty and intense visual stimulation and therefore have a more difficult time reaching peak levels of sexual arousal with your real-world partner.

But unlike PE, DE generally isn’t a condition you’re born with. Instead it can be triggered or influenced by a number of different factors:

• Medications: A number of medications can have DE as a side effect. Tops on the list are antidepressants. One study published in the May 2009 issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine found than men who took SSRIs were seven times more likely to have DE than those who didn’t take these drugs. Certain types of medications used to treat high blood pressure, anxiety, pain, cold symptoms, or insomnia can also cause DE.

• Alcohol: A small amount of alcohol may put you in the mood, but larger quantities can impair not only your ability to achieve and maintain an erection, but your ability to ejaculate as well. This is because alcohol is a central nervous system depressant and slows down brain activity that is needed to achieve orgasm.

• Emotional issues: Some men with DE may get physiologically aroused when they’re with a partner but are mentally disconnected and cannot focus enough to climax. You might be worried about your performance, which can be very intrusive. Or you may also be preoccupied with concerns outside the bedroom, such as the economy, work, or finances.

If you’re dealing with DE, what can you do? • Cut back on alcohol. Although some people feel that alcohol adds to their sexual experience because it helps them lose their inhibitions, one or two drinks can significantly delay your orgasm. Try reducing the amount to see if this improves your DE.

• Put away the porn. If you think too much porn could be crimping your sex-style, it may be time totake a break from porn and focus on real sex. I’m not saying you have to turn off the porn forever, but a taking break for several weeks can help you determine if it’s triggering your DE—and can give you a chance to get your mojo back.

• Take a masturbation break. In the past, you may have been able to masturbate regularly and have sex regularly, but if you’re masturbating more than you’re having sex, it’s time to go “hands off” for a while.

DE can be challenging, but in many cases, it can be managed fairly easily. Communication is half the battle: You can discuss which positions work better for your excitement and avoid those which are not as helpful. Most importantly, it helps your partner understand that it is not her fault.

Women may think that they are not attractive or sexy enough, or they may wonder if you have lost interest in her. Reassure her of the way you feel and that you are going to explore why this is happening at this time.

Dr. Madeleine M. Castellanos is committed to helping others learn about their own sexuality and how to achieve physical and emotional balance in their sex lives. In addition to being an assistant Professor of Psychiatry at Albert Einstein College of Medicine, she has dedicated her private practice to the specialty of sex therapy and sexology for those couples and individuals wanting to address any difficulties they have in the area of sexuality, or enhance their sex life. Learn more at goodinbed.com. Read more at www.foxnews.com

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First Kiss Is More Powerful Than First Sexual Encounter

Clipped from abcnews.go.com

Valentine's Day Tip for Lovers: A Good Kiss Can Seal A Relationship, A Bad Kiss Can Kill It

Psychologists report that most people can remember up to 90 percent of the details of their first romantic kiss, a memory that is even more powerful that their first sexual encounter.

The "Shoop-Shoop Song, (It's in His Kiss)," sung by both Betty Everett and later Cher, says it all.

"Think about all those date-movies where that long-awaited first kiss brings sighs and heart flutters to the audience and seals the deal between the couples on the screen," said Sarasota, Fla., psychologist LeslieBeth Wish.

"The lips are very sensitive tissue, with many nerve endings that signal reactions such as hot and cold, sharp and soft," she said. "These same nerve endings also activate our feelings of closeness and attachment by arousing the brain's love chemicals such as oxytocin."

On Valentine's Day it is worth noting that the romantic kiss may be underrated in a fast culture that celebrates booty calls, pornography and online dating.

"Despite the casualness of sex these days, kisses still pack a serious punch," said Wish. "Good kissers know not to swallow up the mouth of the other, not to jam their tongue down the partner's throat or knock their teeth. Kisses are such powerful connectors that the moment of the first touch can overwhelm you with pleasure."

It can also break the deal.

"The worst kiss is the kind when it feels like a serpent has just entered your mouth and is swirling around inside of it," said Severin Witte, a 22-year-old college senior from Brenham, Texas.

An estimated 59 percent of men and 66 percent of women end a relationship because of a bad first kiss, according to Sheril Kirshenbaum, author of "The Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us."

"So much information is exchanged with a kiss," she said. "One kiss and everything can be completely off. It's the ultimate litmus test."

Research for her recent book revealed that, as a rule, "men prefer open-mouth kissing, and women complain about too much tongue," said Kirshenbaum.

The kiss may even serve an evolutionary purpose. Men's saliva contains a small amount of testosterone that can, over repeated exposure, arouse a woman's libido and eventually persuade her to mate.

In a a study at the State University of New York at Albany, men described kissing as a "means to an end...something else down the line," but women saw it as a route to a deeper relationship, according to Kirshenbaum.

Women are also more sensitive to scent and taste, using their senses to detect if the man is the "right match."

"Kissing is such a good example of a behavior that is both nature and nurture," she said. "We seem to have an instinctive drive to kiss and connect in some way."

Man's earliest kisses were with the nose, kind of like the Eskimo rub, according to Kirshenbaum, probably allowing humans to reconnect with relatives and find out clues about a person's health.

Kissing may have moved to the mouth as humans became sensitized to the color red, finding ripe fruits for food. That may have led to a woman's red lips, an indicator of a potentially fertile mate. Modern studies show that the color red makes the heart beat faster and may be the reason why women still use lipstick.

The first mention of a mouth kiss -- "smelling with the mouth" -- was in India's Sanskrit texts in 1500 B.C. Later, in the third century A.D., the Kama Sutra instructed readers to kiss "the forehead, the eyes, the cheeks, the throat, the bosom, the breasts, the lips and the interior of the mouth."

Kissing went on to become an act of greeting or reverence, not only sexuality. Greeks and Romans chronicled kisses between slaves and owners; Christians kissed the hands of priests and popes.

In the Middle Ages among the illiterate, legal documents were marked with an X and sealed with a kiss. But by the time the plague arrived in the 17th century, a kiss became deadly and men were more apt to tip a hat than risk touching lips.

Some of the most memorable kisses have come out of Hollywood.

Burt Lancaster's famous kiss in the surf with Deborah Kerr in the 1953 film "From Here to Eternity," still ranks as the most memorable of all screen kisses, as rated by entertainment writer Erik Lundegaard. Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst ranked second in their upside-down kiss in the 2002 movie "Spider-Man," followed by George Peppard and Audrey Hepburn in the 1961 film "Breakfast at Tiffany's," and Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore in the 1990 move "Ghost."

Kissing can even be good for your health.

According to the American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry, when people kiss, salivary glands under the tongue and in the cheeks are stimulated to produce more saliva. The water, proteins, electrolytes and mineral salts in saliva keep the mouth healthy.

What makes a good kisser?

"I like when he takes charge...but not too aggressive," said Kendra Handy, 21, of Snellville, Ga. "I like to feel engaged -- kissing is about more than just lip."

Ashley Boyce, 21, of Bandera, Texas, said a good kiss has "just the right amount of tongue-to-lips-to-teeth ratio."

And it always has to be an appropriate setting, not a busy street corner or school hallway," she said. "In the 'Wedding Singer' they call it 'church tongue'!"

And women don't have to be gay to appreciate a good kiss with another woman.

Annette Bening told ABC News in a recent interview that her co-star in the film "The Kids Are All Right," Julianne Moore, was "at the top" of her list of great kissers.

"We've actually talked about this," Bening said, referring to Moore. "Because both of us have kissed a lot of guys, OK? That's the bottom line. So, we both agree we'd much rather kiss each other than many of the men we've had to kiss." Read more at abcnews.go.com

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How to Forgive a Cheating Husband

Clipped from http://www.romanceadviceforwomen.com/2010/12/how-to-forgive-a-cheating-husband/

You want to learn how to forgive a cheating husband. You recently found out that your husband was unfaithful. You’ve likely been cycling through a whole range of emotions. Everything from sadness to confusion to anger is all right there at the surface. He’s told you how sorry he is and you can sense his deep regret. You are determined to save your marriage but you’re unsure how to get past his infidelity and get to a place of forgiveness. You can do it if you have the right mindset and some insight on how forgiveness can actually help you more than it helps your husband.

Understanding how to forgive a cheating husband begins with recognizing that regardless of how much you want to wish away his adultery, you can’t. He cheated on you and now you must deal with the consequences of that. You must try to get yourself to a place of acceptance. Wishing that it hadn’t happened is natural and normal. But it did happen and the sooner you can accept that he was unfaithful, the closer you’ll be to forgiveness.

The key to forgiving a cheating husband is to do it more for yourself than for him. Right now you’re juggling a lot of anger and disappointment. You’re also questioning what the marriage meant to him and how he could have strayed if he loved you as much as he said he does. Men cheat for a whole host of reasons and most have nothing to do with how they feel about their wives. To many men the act of cheating is all about the physical connection and not an emotional one.

By forgiving him you’ll be allowing yourself the chance to heal. You’ll release a lot of the negative emotions and you’ll find comfort in that. It’s important to recognize that everyone makes mistakes in life and even though this is a horrendous mistake it is forgivable. Read more at www.romanceadviceforwomen.com

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Clipped from http://www.articlesbase.com/sexuality-articles/dirty-talk-text-messages-a-great-way-to-keep-a-long-distance-relationship-going-4151286.html

Dirty Talk Text Messages - A Great Way to Keep a Long Distance Relationship Going

It's true! You'd never suspect it, but the tiny cell phone and its ability to send text messages can make it seem like the two of you are together even when you physically are not. It's great not only for long distance relationships but for being away on business trips and other times away, as well. It will keep the two of you hot for each other during times apart. Dirty talk text messages don't have to be complicated. Read more at www.articlesbase.com

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Let’s talk about sex. Or not.

Be open, Be honest, Be satisfied.

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My Husband Has Changed So Much! How to Rediscover the Man You Married

Clipped from http://www.romanceadviceforwomen.com/2011/02/my-husband-has-changed-so-much-how-to-rediscover-the-man-you-married/

My husband has changed so much since we got married. That’s a very common complaint among married women. The man you walked down the aisle with on your wedding day isn’t exactly the same man that you wake up to each day now. Physically he may have put on a few pounds and his hair may be thinning. Those things are all to be expected but it’s his other changes that have you so confused. When a man changes the way he treats you that’s when you need to sit up and really take notice. If you’ve been neglected or overlooked in your marriage there are several things you can do to change that dynamic starting today.

Trying to pinpoint why your husband has changed so much may prove to be an exercise in futility. You can’t really blame it on one specific event. What often happens is that as a man ages he starts to look at his life differently. No longer is he the carefree, exuberant guy of his youth who had few things to worry about. Now he’s a family man with a mortgage to manage and children to think about. All that stress and pressure can definitely change a man’s perspective and character. He can become less agreeable and his priorities will often shift as well.

Getting your husband to show he’s still the man you fell in love with and married can take a bit of effort on your part. You can begin by helping him even out his stress. Ask him if there’s anything you can do to lighten his load a bit. Perhaps you can take over managing the bills or you can run a couple of errands for him while you do yours. You should also encourage him to talk to you about whatever is bothering him. If you can take on the role of being his confidante, he’ll feel a lot less pressure to keep everything in and you’ll likely notice a change in him.

Being kinder to your husband can also garner a significant shift in his attitude and also in the way he treats you. It can be hard to be kind and considerate to someone when you feel they’re not doing the same for you, but one of you needs to take that first step. If you show your husband that you still adore and love him the way you always have and if he feels that from you, he’s much more likely to let down the emotional walls he’s put up and let you back in. A small shift in your attitude towards him can help you and your marriage tremendously. Read more at www.romanceadviceforwomen.com

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Former President George W. Bush’s daughter Barbara is speaking out in support of same-sex marriage.

Clipped from blogs.reuters.com

Former President George W. Bush’s daughter Barbara is speaking out in support of same-sex marriage.

“I’m Barbara Bush and I’m a New Yorker for marriage equality. New York is about fairness and equality and , everyone should have the right to marry the person that they love. Join us,” she says in a brief video released by the advocacy group Human Rights Campaign. Read more at blogs.reuters.com

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The Kinky Courtesan » Don’t Be So Anal: The Taboo Explained

Although I've never been accused of having a stick up my arse there are others who could 'loosen up' so to speak.

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Getting the most out of Adult Dating

The term adult dating suggests dating without the boundaries of the commonly accepted norm.

Being part of adult dating requires you to have an open mind, be willing to try new things, an adventurous spirit and last but not least: a healthy appetite for sex.

If you find yourself in this spectrum, you should definitely give adult dating a go. It’s a lot more spicy than common darting sites, the experiences you make can go beyond your wildest dreams and it can be truly satisfactory for – being single or a couple.

The following list presents few good tips on how to get what you want out of your adult dating experience.

1. Enjoy your freedom. Be honest about what you are into, what you like and what you don’t like. The clearer you are about your needs and boundaries, the bigger the chance you get those met!

2. Don’t disclose too much about your personal life – just yet. Get to know each other, talk about what you want to get out of the experience and slowly approach personal issues. Sure, at the end you want to meet, but caution is the key!

3. Create a good profile. It has been mentioned numerous times, but it can’t be emphasized enough. Explain who you are, what you’re into and what you are looking for. Always attach a photo! Adult dating is after all, a lot about physical attraction.

4. Enjoy a little dirty talk! Chatting to a possible match can reveal if you are on the ‘same page’ – sexually and spiritually.

5. Swap some saucy pictures. You don’t need to reveal all on your profile page. Keep some special shots for special friends. It can really heat up the anticipation of getting together once you can visualize what awaits you.

6. Choose a quality adult dating site. Lots of online adult dating services are riddled with scammers and fakes. A good, honest service provides you with instant customer support, help and advice when you need it.

7. Try something new! Don’t go on an adult dating site and be scared!

Make the most out of it and make this secret fantasy of your finally true. With adult dating anything is possible.