Masturbation In Relationships

The Role of Masturbation in Committed Relationships

Masturbation is usually thought of as a solitary activity, it is often referenced as a symbol of being alone. So it shouldn't be surprising that the topic of masturbation in relationships is one that doesn’t come up too often. But masturbation doesn’t stop when a relationship begins, and by hiding our masturbation in relationships from our partners we’re potentially missing out on an opportunity for sexual communication, and a chance to improve our sex lives.

Do most people in relationships still masturbate?

While there isn’t a lot of research, there have been several studies, dating back to the 1970s, that have asked people in relationships about their masturbation practices. This research has shown that people in relationships don’t masturbate significantly less than people who aren’t in relationships. Yet it is a common masturbation myth that masturbation is just a substitute for partner sex, and that once you have a partner you don’t “need” to masturbate. Whether we’re honest with our partners about masturbation, in research we are fessing up to the fact that many of us continue to make masturbation part of our sex lives, even when we’re in relationships.

Why do people hide their masturbation in relationships?

Sadly, the research also suggests that the majority of people don’t talk with their partners about masturbation. In one small study of married couples, less than 30% of the couples where both partners masturbated, knew that their partners regularly masturbated. But why would you hide something from the person you are supposed to be most intimate with? There are lots of reasons people might hid their masturbation from a partner:

• thinking that masturbation is a sign of sexual dissatisfaction with your partner and therefore an insult 
• believing that you only have so much sexual energy and if you use it up with masturbation you’ll have less left for your partner 
• general shame and guilt about masturbation 
• wanting to keep some part of your sex life just for yourself 

Reasons to talk with your partner about masturbation in your relationship

While there aren’t any right and wrong answers to the question should you talk with your partner about masturbation, there are some good reasons to think about doing it:

• masturbation is a great way to deal with differing sex drives: if it’s out in the open you can both use it not as a substitute but as an addition to your partner sex 
• masturbation is a great tool for learning: you can learn a lot about your partner from their masturbation techniques and habits 
• masturbation is another side of you: sharing talk about masturbation and/or masturbating in your partner’s presence can be a powerful way of sharing a new level of intimacy 

Should I talk to my partner about masturbating in our relationship?
Ultimately this has to be your decision and you need to do what feels right, not simply what you think is expected of you. On the one hand masturbation is universally derided and considered not real sex. On the other it’s the longest sexual relationship any of us will have, and we should respect and honor that.


Keep in mind that masturbation may mean different things to you and your partner. While you might think it’s a great part of your overall sex life, your partner might feel threatened by it. This isn’t a reason not to talk about it, but it’s something to keep in mind before you start a conversation about masturbation in your relationship.


Sources:
Clark, C.A. and Wiederman, M.W. “Gender and Reactions to a Hypothetical Relationship Partner's Masturbation” The Journal of Sex Research. Volume 37, No. 2 (2000): 133-141.
Cornog, M. The Big Book of Masturbation San Francisco: Down There Press, 2003.
Hessellund, H. “Masturbation and Sexual Fantasies in Married Couples” Archives of Sexual Behavior. Volume 5, No. 2 (1976): 133-147


Clipped from: About.com

Do You Have A Special Mix List For Your Sexy Time?

Do You Have A 'SPECIAL' Mix List For Your Sexy Time?


I remember dating someone that would always play a 'SPECIAL' mix of songs when we were getting busy.

image source: ALIEN FAILURE

Luckily for me I liked most of the songs, and he'd would put them on shuffle, so that it was different each time.

Do you have a 'SPECIAL' list of songs that you or your partner use?

Share your 'SPECIAL' mix list in a comment below!

Amplify’d from www.cosmopolitan.com

The Sex Toy Hiding in Your Purse

It is tiny and sleek and can turn him on in 60 seconds or less. You’ll never look at your cell the same way again.

You know your cell phone can do a lot of really cool things. Unfortunately, you might be oblivious to the fact that it has carnal capabilities. That’s right — your most prized possession is actually a passion prop in disguise. Doubt us? Check out some of its naughtiest uses below.

Play “Name That Curve.” Using your cell camera, take shots that show just a hint of different curves on your body — your hips, breasts, butt, etc. — and then send them to your guy. Type a little note, and ask him to guess what part of your anatomy is in each photo.

Send your guy racy texts when he least expects them, like in the middle of his workday, while he’s running errands, or first thing in the morning after waking up. A couple examples: “I want ur hands on me now” or “U + me + my bed...8 p.m.”

While you’re messing around with your man, grab your cell and set your alarm to go off immediately, but instead of having it chime or make a beeping noise, put it on the vibrate mode. Then, as it continuously vibrates, touch it to his package to totally rev him up and get him ready for the main act.

Turn yourself on with the Boditalk Escort (ohmibod.com, $59), a tiny egg-shaped vibrator that you slip inside your vagina and is activated whenever a cell phone rings within 10 feet of you. Bonus: It has three different speeds to help maximize your pleasure.

When you are home together, go to another part of the house, and bring both his and your phones with you. Take off your clothes, then call his cell. When he finally tracks down the ringing, he’ll find you — totally naked and waiting.

Invent flirty acronyms to text each other that no one else can decode, such as UMMH (You Make Me Hot) or IWUIM (I Want You Inside Me). Next time you are in a group and can’t communicate directly, text him whatever suggestive thought is on your mind.

Set a shirtless picture of him as the wallpaper on your phone so that even when you’re apart, you’re able to view his hunky body and start fantasizing about what you’d like to do him.

Assign a sexy ring tone to your man so whenever he calls, you’ll automatically think dirty thoughts. Consider “baby-making” songs such as “Nice and Slow,” by Usher, or “My Love,” by Justin Timberlake.

Ask him to send you a scorching video of himself, and tell him that once he does, you’ll return the favor. Be careful not to send anything too graphic that includes identifying features, like your face. Read more at www.cosmopolitan.com

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Amplify’d from thestir.cafemom.com

5 Halloween Costumes That Are Too Sexy

It is time to think about your Halloween Costumes for 2011, because the longer you delay the later it is going to get and then — before you know it — you will have three days to put together something great. So when shopping for your party-winning threads, how do you decide what to wear?

Have you been invited to an adult party with a theme? Are you sporting a costume because you want to trick or treat with your nephew? Are you hosting a Halloween party for your friends? It is very important to keep the destination (and the company) in mind when you pick out your costume. Seriously, seriously, important. And just in case you aren't sure what constitutes inappropriate for most party venues, I have pictured five costumes that are sold along side the kiddie Halloween costumes, but that should only be worn in the bedroom!

Most of these would make fantastic role-playing costumes for the bedroom, but really, I don't want to see any of my friends in costumes like these at whatever Halloween parties I might attend. Tell me if you agree ...

If the theme of the party is "Sexy, Skimpy, Naughty" then go for it — but if your brother is throwing a party for some friends — keep this one at home.

If you choose the cop costume below, please make sure the theme of the party is "Strippers" — otherwise find something else!

There is a reason there are so many pornos out there with women serving men! If you like that sort of thing ... it can be great for the bedroom. But I beg of you, please don't wear this to a Halloween party. Unless, of course, it is a sexy themed party.

Lots of people want to dress up like firefighters, and that can be a great costume if you are going trick or treating with your nephew — but please choose one that will be appropriate for the kids to see! In case you are wondering, this one is not.

Pirates are all the rage but this one goes a bit over the top. Here's the thing ... if I can see part of your ass cheeks peeking through the bottom of your shorts, I'd rather you wear something else to my party.

Have you been to Halloween parties with women in costumes that have made you want to hide your eyes? Read more at thestir.cafemom.com

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Clipped from Womans Day

The Best Sex Positions for Every Situation

Learn surprising stances to increase the possibilities in your bedroom

Got pain? Pregnancy wishes? Confidence issues in the sack? We have a position for all that! We spoke to top female sexual health experts to hear their recommendations about the best positions for the most common sexual health concerns. Get ready to meet your new favorite moves.

The Best Position for Baby-Making While it’s true that you can get pregnant from all kinds of sexual positions, there is one that health experts frequently recommend as the way to increase your odds of becoming pregnant, and that’s the “missionary” position (male on top) with a “pelvic tilt,” says Amy Levine, a New York City–based sex coach, certified sexuality educator and founder of SexEdSolutions.com. “Putting a pillow under the tush can help elevate your pelvis, and create a slide effect—providing an easy path for his swimmers to make their way through your cervix on their journey to your ovum,” she says. “Typically, women who try this tend to maximize the ejaculation, since it stays in their body a little longer compared to positions in which you're upright, allowing the semen to drip out of the vagina.” And, don’t forget to orgasm, says Ava Cadell, a sex educator and founder of Loveology University in Los Angeles. “She is more likely to get pregnant if she climaxes,” she says.

Photo: © Shutterstock

The Best Position to Help Women Build Confidence in Bed Maybe you feel insecure in the sack and could use a move that can help you feel more confident and in control? If so, Debby Herbenick, PhD, author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction, has a suggestion for you. Memorize these three words, she says: you on top. “It can be confidence-building because it physically helps women to be in control,” she says. “Make sure to do it your way, though. Woman on top can be done kneeling, squatting, facing forward or facing backward, so show off whatever you or he loves most about your body.”

The Best Position for Most Female Pleasure Gals, are you ready for this? Dr. Herbenick says the position that provides the most female pleasure may be a move you’ve never even tried! It’s called the coital alignment technique. “This is a wonderful variation on missionary and one of the few sex positions that has ever been researched and found to be helpful for women who would like to orgasm during sex,” she says. “It involves the guy sliding himself forward, with his shoulders past yours, and your pelvic areas grinding and not thrusting so much. This targets more stimulation on a woman’s clitoris, making it easier for some women to feel pleasure and possibly orgasm.”

The Best Position for Long-Lasting Sex While premature ejaculation is a medical condition that your guy may need to seek treatment for, there are positional tricks you can try to help him increase his staying power. According to Levine, the missionary position (again, guy on top) may be the key to helping your partner last longer. “It can work for him if he has trouble going the distance,” she says. “The key is that he's in an easy position to stop and start when his arousal is increasing at a fast rate, and can take it down a notch so he can last longer.” Want to vary the missionary position a bit? Try this idea from Cadell. “The ‘fox’ position is a variation of missionary, in which the woman’s legs go all the way up and over her lover’s shoulders,” she says. “Penetration of the vagina is very deep in this position. She is contained in the boundaries of his body and he can dive totally inside her, maintaining his arousal and lasting longer.”

The Best Position for Women Who Experience Pain with Intercourse There are often few quick fixes for intercourse-related pain; however, consider these two ideas that can help improve your intimate experiences. First, be sure to use lots of water-based lubricant, says Dr. Herbenick. Second, if pain is an issue, it’s important that you keep the reins, so to speak, in your hands. It’s why Dr. Herbenick, and other experts, recommend the woman-on-top position. “It gives the woman more control over taking sex at a pace that is comfortable for her.”

The Best Position If Your Guy Is Well-Endowed Looking for more “oh”s than “ouch”s? Here’s your move: “The guy lies on his side; she lies perpendicular to him with legs spread as they rest over his body,” Dr. Herbenick explains. “This allows her to hold the base of his shaft if she wants to limit his range of motion, and allows her to use pelvic rocks to create an in-and-out sensation.” Levine says that women whose partners have “lengthy penises” love this position because “they can control how much of him will penetrate her, and can create pleasurable sensations for both without the cramping and discomfort that can happen when he hits her cervix during intense thrusting.”

The Best Position for Small Penises Experts are quick to point out that penis size is a very minor part of a satisfying sex life, yet there are certain positions sex therapists recommend more often when a man has a smaller penis. The best? Woman on top, says Levine. But here’s the key: “You need to gyrate on him rather than move up and down, or else he's likely to slip out,” she says. “Missionary can also help, with your legs up on his shoulders. This allows him to penetrate you deeper, making the most of his size.”

Sarah Jio is the health and fitness blogger for Glamour.com. Visit her blog, Vitamin G.

WD wants to answer your toughest sex questions! Submit your most pressing sexual questions to http://www.womansday.com/Articles/Sex-Relationships/Sex/mailto:wdsexualhealth@gmail.com, and we will address the topic in an upcoming article—anonymity guaranteed.

Read More About: relationship tips, relationships, sexual health Read more at www.womansday.com

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Sex On The First Date Based On Taste In Music

Coldplay fans least likely to have sex on first date

Ok, here’s the experiment. We asked our users how far they’d likely go on a first date. A rather forward question you may feel – but over 400 of them responded.

Answers ranged from “I’d only meet up for a chat” to “I’d go all the way if the mood was right”. We took this anonymous feedback, collated it and then ran it through our discombobulator to find out which fans were the most inclined to jump into bed on a first date.

“Yeah I’ve seen Coldplay seven times now, their lyrics really speak to me…”
Not what you want to hear if you were hoping to bump uglies on the first date

As you may have gathered from our tactful, tasteful headline, Coldplay fans came out as the segment of our users least inclined to jump into bed after a first date. Why is this you ask? Beats us. But next time you’re having inappropriate thoughts it may be wise to save on your water bill and instead of taking a cold shower put on X&Y. Just sayin’.

“Come as you are”

At the other end of the spectrum fans of grunge-rockers Nirvana were the most likely to end up doing the walk of shame the morning after the night before. Now don’t get us wrong – we’re not saying all Nirvana fans are nymphomaniacs, oh no. But on average you’re more likely to get lucky on a first date with someone who’s a big fan of Kurt and co, if that’s what you’re after…

Oasis vs Blur

And finally, at risk of reigniting this age-old britpop rivalry, Blur fans surveyed were 20% more likely to do the mummy-daddy dance than Oasis fans.
So, Blur better than Oasis? The jury’s still out on that one.

Are you a cautious Coldplay fan, or a naughty Nirvana nut? Now you know the score, are you going to tweak your profile? Or maybe we just reminded you of a stash of grunge tapes in the back of your garage. It could be the start of a Seattle-rock revival.

We hope we’ve got you thinking, either way, and we have plenty of singles whatever band you’re into…

And Now For The Science…

We asked our members – “How far would you go on a first date?” giving the three possible answers:

• I’d only meet up for a chat
• Perhaps a kiss
• All the way, if there was chemistry

The question received 408 responses in the space of a week. We looked at the average response for people who were fans of each of Last.fm’s top 20 most popular artists (week ending Sunday 27th March 2011) and assigned a score of 1 for the first answer, 2 for the second and 3 for the third. The results at time of writing were as follows:


source

Why Won't She Call Back? [Dating Tips]

Clipped from http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice_500/553_why-wont-she-call-back.html

Why Won't She Call Back?

Getty Images

What You Need To Know No call back? You failed to connect with her. Women feel connected by sharing stories, words and emotions. Try talking to her like a friend to ease the situation.

"You have to learn how to connect emotionally with women. "

When it comes to dating, relationships and marriage, guys throughout history have asked the same questions -- let’s call them the “Eternal Questions" -- over and over: “When is the right time to have sex?” “How do I know it’s time to break up?” “What do I do when she gets pregnant and we didn’t plan it?” These are the sorts of challenges I’ll help you deal with by addressing a new question every week. If you have your own questions you’d like answered, please email me. I’ve been helping people deal with these issues professionally for 14 years. On AskMen, I hope to help even more of you find some positive solutions and move your lives in the directions you want them to go.You went out the other night with this amazing woman. You thought that it was the most perfect first date. You thought she was into you. You left her a message the following day telling her that you had a great time and hoped to take her out again soon. It’s been three days since the terrific date, and she has not called you back. Why won't she call back? You're confused. You have replayed the date over and over with all your friends. You've asked for their opinion about why things are unfolding the way they are. Is she busy? Away? Involved? You've over-analyzed it to death and can’t stop checking your phone. You even start thinking that maybe it was the message you left. Why did you say that you had a good time? Was that a turn off? You didn't connect Well, it’s actually none of those things. The reason she has not called back is that she simply does not feel the same way that you do about the date -- or about you. The explanation? You probably failed to emotionally connect with her.      Let me explain it this way: How many of you have gone out, met a woman, scored her home number, and then said to yourself, "Why won't she call back?" Probably a lot. That happens when you have failed to connect with a woman and distinguish yourself from the other guys who are also hitting on her. The next day, she probably has no idea who you are.     It’s the same idea on a date. When she leaves that date, she needs to know something about you that makes her feel “connected” to you. That you shared something with her -- a moment, a laugh, an experience.  What you need to do If you want women to call you back, you need to focus on making an emotional connection with them. Men feel connected by sharing activities; women feel connected by sharing stories, words and emotions.      When you go on your next date, ask yourself, "What three things did I learn about her?" and "What did I share about myself with her?" The answers to those questions are what build a relationship.      If you want to get better at this and advance to date No. 2, you have to work at it. You have to learn how to connect emotionally with women. One way is to start talking to women as you would speak to any friend. Pay attention to the details of what she tells you. Remember the names of her friends, where she went to school, where she grew up. Remember the conversations. Personalize your message by saying something like, “I had a great time with you last night. I especially enjoyed our conversation about your travels in Italy. How about I take you to that little sushi restaurant you mentioned next Thursday.” This is how you can let the her know that you are not one of the regular men that she has met -- that you are connected to her. Little shifts in how you connect with women will ensure a returned call. I promise.

When it comes to dating, relationships and marriage, guys throughout history have asked the same questions -- let’s call them the “Eternal Questions" -- over and over: “When is the right time to have sex?” “How do I know it’s time to break up?” “What do I do when she gets pregnant and we didn’t plan it?” These are the sorts of challenges I’ll help you deal with by addressing a new question every week. If you have your own questions you’d like answered, please email me. I’ve been helping people deal with these issues professionally for 14 years. On AskMen, I hope to help even more of you find some positive solutions and move your lives in the directions you want them to go.You went out the other night with this amazing woman. You thought that it was the most perfect first date. You thought she was into you. You left her a message the following day telling her that you had a great time and hoped to take her out again soon. It’s been three days since the terrific date, and she has not called you back. Why won't she call back? You're confused. You have replayed the date over and over with all your friends. You've asked for their opinion about why things are unfolding the way they are. Is she busy? Away? Involved? You've over-analyzed it to death and can’t stop checking your phone. You even start thinking that maybe it was the message you left. Why did you say that you had a good time? Was that a turn off? You didn't connect Well, it’s actually none of those things. The reason she has not called back is that she simply does not feel the same way that you do about the date -- or about you. The explanation? You probably failed to emotionally connect with her.      Let me explain it this way: How many of you have gone out, met a woman, scored her home number, and then said to yourself, "Why won't she call back?" Probably a lot. That happens when you have failed to connect with a woman and distinguish yourself from the other guys who are also hitting on her. The next day, she probably has no idea who you are.     It’s the same idea on a date. When she leaves that date, she needs to know something about you that makes her feel “connected” to you. That you shared something with her -- a moment, a laugh, an experience.  What you need to do If you want women to call you back, you need to focus on making an emotional connection with them. Men feel connected by sharing activities; women feel connected by sharing stories, words and emotions.      When you go on your next date, ask yourself, "What three things did I learn about her?" and "What did I share about myself with her?" The answers to those questions are what build a relationship.      If you want to get better at this and advance to date No. 2, you have to work at it. You have to learn how to connect emotionally with women. One way is to start talking to women as you would speak to any friend. Pay attention to the details of what she tells you. Remember the names of her friends, where she went to school, where she grew up. Remember the conversations. Personalize your message by saying something like, “I had a great time with you last night. I especially enjoyed our conversation about your travels in Italy. How about I take you to that little sushi restaurant you mentioned next Thursday.” This is how you can let the her know that you are not one of the regular men that she has met -- that you are connected to her. Little shifts in how you connect with women will ensure a returned call. I promise. Read more at www.askmen.com

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Clipped from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/save-your-sex-life/201104/how-date-night-saved-my-sex-life

How Date Night Saved My Sex Life

Save your sex life! Do it in a little as 2 hours a week for sexy results!

Happy spring!

With a change of seasons come new patters and goals. I would like to propose that having a weekly date night will save your sex life.

Doesn't matter if your current sexual relationship is hot or not.

Couples who commit to having time alone together on a regular basis are helping their relationship in two separate ways. First, the time together spent talking, sharing and participating in an activity will help create and maintain our emotional intimacy bond.

Second, having time alone together will help protect our privacy from the incursions of kids, jobs and the stress of life. In short, having and maintaining an emotional connection will contribute to saving your sex life by keeping you close and prioritizing your relationship.

Some couples struggle with this weekly date night concept. "we are so busy, we don't have time, " or "we don't have any childcare," or the real reason "I would rather have that time alone or with my kids."

Most of the reason, in my professional opinion, that the state of marriage is in decline and the quality of our sexual connection is horrid is because we don't take the time necessary to be in connection with each other.

If you want evidence of this just look at America's sexual script.

A sexual script is essentially a template of what a couple does sexually when they are together. An example of a good sexual script includes kissing, foreplay (giving and receiving) and intercourse.

As a Marriage and Sex Therapist seeing patients all day long, the sexual script I often hear from couples experiencing sexual or marital dissatisfaction usually predictably goes something like this.

The man will initiate sex by verbally asking "Do you want to?", this is followed by 30 seconds of kissing (although sometimes this part is completely optional) followed by dry and disconnected intercourse.

I don't know about you but to me this sounds like a recipe for disaster, which includes being very depressed about the way we go about being sexual. This is why low sexual desire is rampant in the world today; it's because who desires to do that? Lame with a capitol "L", right? Masturbating just began to sound more satisfying . What I tell couples to move forward is to set aside a consistent time and day in their week to connect, it's like having an emotional intimacy date to get back in connection over dinner, cocktails or a walk.

Then, I suggest that we mutually agree to follow up the emotional intimacy date with a physical intimacy date that includes kissing, touching, foreplay and ultimately sex. No rushing, let the script last 30-45 minutes, if you lose your erection don't panic, just focus on doing another activity such as foreplay to see if you can regain it. Most scripts are rushed through because of the worry of erection loss.

By focusing on having that weekly date time set aside, you can accomplish reconnecting emotionally and sexually and protect your relationship from deteriorating.

By having a longer and more satisfying sexual script, you will eliminate sexual dysfunction by allowing your bodies to become fully aroused and relaxing into the process of sex.

Remember that poor excuse of "we don't have time" or "we can't find a sitter", trust me when I say organizing these components is a lot simpler and cheaper than organizing a separation or a divorce because someone feel unhappy and ignored.

Save your sex life and ultimately your marriage by making the commitment to yourselves and each other to give the gift of a weekly connection.

A healthy connection in your relationship is the gift that keeps on giving, all four seasons. Read more at www.psychologytoday.com

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Fabulous sex tricks every woman should

We all love great sex and sometimes we're looking for things that will make the whole thing a lot more enjoyable.

So we've come up with some top tricks that will put a bit of va-va-voom into your sex life and leave both you and him panting for more... Make a change We've all heard the expression 'a change is as good as a rest' - well, when it comes to sex, it's very true. Most of us have sex in the same couple of positions and at roughly the same time every day, so it's no wonder that it sometimes gets a bit humdrum. So doing something different can have a significant impact, no matter how small or large. So what sort of things are we talking about? The most obvious is try a new position - it can be as adventurous as you wish. And remember, even if you don't actually like it, the very act of trying something new should get the two of you going. Normally have morning sex? Try doing it in the afternoon, or why not grab your man straight after you've finished dinner (assuming the kids aren't around), rather than waiting till you're both in bed later in the evening. Do it in a new room - most of us always have sex in the bedroom, so try it on the stairs for once. Even if you don't want to leave the bedroom, try using the floor rather than the bed. Once you've done something new once, it'll become easier to throw something different into the mix next time. Read more at www.goodtoknow.co.uk

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Sexual Malfunction

Clipped from collegecandy.com

He Said/She Said: Sexual Malfunction

“Oh god. This has never happened to me before.”

Yup, I’ve heard that one before. Twice from the same person, actually. I’ve also had one ex propose a trip to Home Depot to rectify the situation. True (and really creepy) story. Being in college where the average night starts with a beer bong, ends with a shot of Jager and has a whole lot of cheap booze in between, I know I’m not alone. Erectile dysfunction (also not so lovingly known to as Whiskey D*ck) is as prevalent as Uggs, overpriced textbooks and porch couches. It’s something that all college women will encounter at one point or another in their lives.

But that doesn’t make it any less embarrassing for the guy whose parts aren’t working, or for the girl who has to somehow rectify the situation.

However, having encountered a limp biscuit a few times between the sheets (and once in a bathroom stall), I have to say that it’s really not as big a deal as movies, stories and shell shocked guys make it out to be.

Look, I know I can’t speak for every woman out there, but I can say that most of the girls I know who’ve come eye to eye with a sleeping dragon don’t get angry about it. We don’t judge the guy harshly for it. We don’t tell everyone they know about it. Oh wait, maybe we do, but not in some “OMG, what a loser! His penis doesn’t work!” sorta way.

No, we accept the situation for what it is. Sure, there are brief moments where we wonder if it’s something we did (“I didn’t use my teeth! I DIDN’T USE MY TEEEETH”) or how we looked when he finally got our pants off (“Should I have gone with the Brazilian this time?!”), and then there’s the slight disappointment of not getting to take the train to Pleasureville. But once those pass we do whatever we can to make the guy feel better….and the entire situation less awkward city for all parties involved.

Why? Because we know guys get all up in their heads when these things happen, and if we don’t assure him that it’s OK, that we’re fine with it, that we still find him just as rawwwr sexy,  he’ll just remain in his head (with a crippled midget) for all future south of the border encounters. And I think we all know that no southern trek is successful with a crippled midget.

So what’s the best way to avoid marshmallow-in-a-keyhole issues down the road? Well, for one, if it’s broke, don’t try to fix it. Continually pulling out all your sexiest moves only to see them fail not only makes you feel bad, but it makes your partner feel even worse. Second, don’t start asking if it’s something you said or did. The guy’s already feeling down and out – does he really have to admit (out loud) that it’s not you, it’s his twig and berries? Instead, just reassure him that it’s OK, that you’re happy to be there with him and that you know it’s not his fault. your parts are working so “get down there and show me some love”

Then play with his hair, rub his back and hope your reaction gets his soldier standing tall the next time you go into battle.

Read More About bad sex, can't get it up, college relationship, erectile dysfunction, hooking up, Sex, sexual malfunction, whiskey dick Read more at collegecandy.com

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Half of women avoid sex with partners because of their weight

Not tonight, dear, I'm feeling too fat: Half of women avoid sex with partners because of their weight

By James Tozer
Last updated at 12:54 AM on 12th March 2011

More than half of women feel so overweight that they avoid having sex with their partners, a survey shows.
Some 52 per cent said their lack of confidence in the shape of their bodies made them reluctant to be intimate. Even more blamed tiredness for killing off the prospect of a night of passion.

Cold shoulder: Over 50 per cent of women are turned off sex due to their confidence in their own bodies (pictures posed by models)

Experts said the poll showed many women were suffering from a combination of unrealistic expectations about their appearance and increasingly busy lives, and warned relationships were inevitably suffering as a result.
Sex In The Nation, a survey of 4,000 people, found that 29 per cent of women cited feeling that they looked fat as a reason for avoiding sex, with a further 23 per cent blaming embarrassment about their ‘wobbly bits’.
The figures for male respondents were eight per cent and 11 per cent respectively.
The biggest passion-killer of all was tiredness, a reason 72 per cent of women said they had given their partners, followed by feeling unattractive (34 per cent), illness (33 per cent) and stress (32 per cent).

 

Psychosexual specialist Dr Catherine Hood, who lectures at Oxford University, said many women ‘feel under pressure to live up to a vision of perfection which just isn’t realistic’.

Of the women polled, 13 per cent said they only had sex with the lights off out of embarrassment at being seen naked, and one in ten would like to be more adventurous in the bedroom but stuck to familiar sexual positions because they felt ashamed about parts of their body.
A fifth of married people said they had a low sex drive, followed by those living with a partner (18 per cent), divorcees and single people (17 per cent) and widowers (14 per cent).

Low confidence: Many women are feeling under pressure to live up to a vision of perfection - which leads to problems in their sex lives

Six per cent of respondents who are married or living with a partner were bored with their sex lives, but 19 per cent stated their libido would increase if they had more time to spend with their loved ones.
Worryingly, six per cent of women said they only have sex with their partner out of duty.


Dr Hood added: ‘Libido is a mixture of physical and psychological factors – it’s different for every woman, but there are many ways to rediscover it. ‘Couples need to make time to rebuild that intimacy.‘For women who are embarrassed about their wobbly bits, it can be as simple as choosing to wear a sexy camisole top rather than being naked.’
The survey was commissioned by Fembido, a ‘passion pill’ made from a blend of herbal ingredients which claims to boost the female libido.

 

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Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1365461/Sex-no-half-women-feeling-fat.html#ixzz1GUfbwHWn

5 Ways Art Can Inspire Better Sex

 

5 Ways Art Can Inspire Better Sex

Creating a hotter sex life doesn’t have to mean watching dirty movies or filling up the drawer with goodies. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that). But, it can also mean raising the sensuality factor in your everyday life. Of course, that can be tough when kids and pets and household duties abound.

So, why not look to the arts for a little inspiration? Art is, or at least can be, all about expression and sensuality. And it can be an ideal way to tap into your sexuality, too. Some call sex “the art of lovemaking.” That’s because it’s not just about biology. Sure, naked bodies are nice and all, but great sex is about the artfulness in the doing.

Here are five ways to bring the art back to the bedroom.

1. Visit a museum together – Spending the day immersed in color and exploring the human form is a fabulous way to click the sensuality switch in your brain to the on position. Even if art isn’t generally your “thing,” it can’t hurt to give it a whirl. Holding hands while walking through a gallery or wandering through a sculpture garden pointing out the pieces that speak to you is a fantastic way to connect with your partner in a real sensory way.

2. Photograph or draw one another – You don’t have to be any good at it. The point is to look at one another – really look – for a change. The color of your partner’s skin. How he or she looks in the light of the morning or the shadow of the afternoon. And the chance to examine one another goes both ways. The muse can often become as inspired as the one doing the painting or photographing. Being gazed upon by the right “artist” can make a person feel very sexy.

3. Finger paint together – It may sound silly. But the feel of paint is very sensual. And getting your hands into it together can make it even more so. You don’t even have to use standard finger paint and paper either. All kinds of things in the kitchen can fit the bill, making clean-up a lot tastier. (Think chocolate pudding and whipped cream).

4. Take a pottery class – Working with clay can be a very sensual experience. (Don’t make me mention that scene in "Ghost" again…) Taking a class together can be great fun. But even taking it alone can leave you inspired. There’s something about the texture of clay and the way it moves through your hands that can put you in a very erotic state of mind.

5. Make yourselves into works of art – Try chocolate body paint and a soft brush or chocolate sauce and your fingers. Or opt for paintable latex or body-safe paint and get really creative. Make a rule – No fooling around, only painting, until your living work of art is done. A long “drawn-out” tease between “painter” and “canvas” is sure to lead to a masterpiece between the sheets.

Improving your sex life, or even maintaining a thriving sex life, demands focus. And art is an ideal focal point for that pursuit. Plus, there are so many different kinds of art, that there is sure to be something for everyone. Whether it’s looking at it or creating it, art is inspiring. It inspires some to create more art. It inspires others to do good works, invent marvels, or even to heal people. The key word is inspire.

And nothing holds a candle to truly inspired sex. So why not seek sensual revelation in the world of art? The only thing you have to lose is the key to a world of great sex.

Jenny Block is a freelance writer based in Dallas. She is the author of "Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage." Her work appears in "One Big Happy Family," edited by Rebecca Walker and "It's a Girl: Women Writers on Raising Daughters," edited by Andrea Buchanan. Visit her website at www.jennyonthepage.com or check out her blog at www.jennyonthepage.blogspot.com. Read more at www.foxnews.com

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Divorcing Your Facebook Might Save...

Clipped from thestir.cafemom.com

Divorcing Your Facebook Might Save Your Marriage

You've seen marriages go down on Facebook, right? -- it starts with two old friends playfully flirting, followed by much more intense and serious flirting. You no longer feel comfortable clicking "Like" or joining in on those conversations that seem to be getting a little too intimate for Facebook, especially between married folks. You're starting to think Get a private Wall, will you? And then comes the predictable Facebook silence when the real, offline affair begins.

We all hold our breath for what comes next but sure enough -- then comes the public Relationship Status change from Married to Single, followed by a new "It's Complicated" status.

Haven't seen this happen? Well, odds are you probably will since Facebook is now cited in 1 in 5 divorces in the United States.

Don't let the innocent-seeming "social networking" site fool you. Sure, most of us are on there sharing fun bits of our lives and photos of our families; however, for men and women who feel lonely in their marriages, Facebook can serve a whole other purpose.

Steven Kimmons, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist of Loyola University Medical Center says:

We’re coming across it more and more. One spouse connects online with someone they knew from high school. The person is emotionally available and they start communicating through Facebook. Within a short amount of time, the sharing of personal stories can lead to a deepened sense of intimacy, which in turn can point the couple in the direction of physical contact.

Think about it. There are husbands and wives nose deep in work life and/or meeting their kids' ongoing needs, along with the other gazillion aspects of modern parenting that distract us from our spouses. Then you find yourself bantering playfully back and forth with an old friend at odd hours. He finds you funny. He is interested in what you have to say. It feels good, and, in fact, you haven't felt this way in years. And let's face it, in many cases, it's easier to just follow the lead of a relationship that feels good rather than turn back and face the relationship hasn't been feeling so good lately.

An affair is not always the intention, but it can quickly become the outcome, if you're not honest about your motivations. And if you want to stay married, it might be a better idea to tap your sleeping husband awake and tell him so than to tap a conversation into a private message with that "old friend."

Have you seen marriages go down or affairs begin via Facebook?

Filed Under: breakups, divorce, marriage Read more at thestir.cafemom.com

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