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Do You Have A Special Mix List For Your Sexy Time?

Do You Have A 'SPECIAL' Mix List For Your Sexy Time?


I remember dating someone that would always play a 'SPECIAL' mix of songs when we were getting busy.

image source: ALIEN FAILURE

Luckily for me I liked most of the songs, and he'd would put them on shuffle, so that it was different each time.

Do you have a 'SPECIAL' list of songs that you or your partner use?

Share your 'SPECIAL' mix list in a comment below!

Hustler Video Releases TV Commercial Parody

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Would You Do Him Outside?

sex toys for modern adults

Sex On The First Date Based On Taste In Music

Coldplay fans least likely to have sex on first date

Ok, here’s the experiment. We asked our users how far they’d likely go on a first date. A rather forward question you may feel – but over 400 of them responded.

Answers ranged from “I’d only meet up for a chat” to “I’d go all the way if the mood was right”. We took this anonymous feedback, collated it and then ran it through our discombobulator to find out which fans were the most inclined to jump into bed on a first date.

“Yeah I’ve seen Coldplay seven times now, their lyrics really speak to me…”
Not what you want to hear if you were hoping to bump uglies on the first date

As you may have gathered from our tactful, tasteful headline, Coldplay fans came out as the segment of our users least inclined to jump into bed after a first date. Why is this you ask? Beats us. But next time you’re having inappropriate thoughts it may be wise to save on your water bill and instead of taking a cold shower put on X&Y. Just sayin’.

“Come as you are”

At the other end of the spectrum fans of grunge-rockers Nirvana were the most likely to end up doing the walk of shame the morning after the night before. Now don’t get us wrong – we’re not saying all Nirvana fans are nymphomaniacs, oh no. But on average you’re more likely to get lucky on a first date with someone who’s a big fan of Kurt and co, if that’s what you’re after…

Oasis vs Blur

And finally, at risk of reigniting this age-old britpop rivalry, Blur fans surveyed were 20% more likely to do the mummy-daddy dance than Oasis fans.
So, Blur better than Oasis? The jury’s still out on that one.

Are you a cautious Coldplay fan, or a naughty Nirvana nut? Now you know the score, are you going to tweak your profile? Or maybe we just reminded you of a stash of grunge tapes in the back of your garage. It could be the start of a Seattle-rock revival.

We hope we’ve got you thinking, either way, and we have plenty of singles whatever band you’re into…

And Now For The Science…

We asked our members – “How far would you go on a first date?” giving the three possible answers:

• I’d only meet up for a chat
• Perhaps a kiss
• All the way, if there was chemistry

The question received 408 responses in the space of a week. We looked at the average response for people who were fans of each of Last.fm’s top 20 most popular artists (week ending Sunday 27th March 2011) and assigned a score of 1 for the first answer, 2 for the second and 3 for the third. The results at time of writing were as follows:


source

Why Won't She Call Back? [Dating Tips]

Clipped from http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice_500/553_why-wont-she-call-back.html

Why Won't She Call Back?

Getty Images

What You Need To Know No call back? You failed to connect with her. Women feel connected by sharing stories, words and emotions. Try talking to her like a friend to ease the situation.

"You have to learn how to connect emotionally with women. "

When it comes to dating, relationships and marriage, guys throughout history have asked the same questions -- let’s call them the “Eternal Questions" -- over and over: “When is the right time to have sex?” “How do I know it’s time to break up?” “What do I do when she gets pregnant and we didn’t plan it?” These are the sorts of challenges I’ll help you deal with by addressing a new question every week. If you have your own questions you’d like answered, please email me. I’ve been helping people deal with these issues professionally for 14 years. On AskMen, I hope to help even more of you find some positive solutions and move your lives in the directions you want them to go.You went out the other night with this amazing woman. You thought that it was the most perfect first date. You thought she was into you. You left her a message the following day telling her that you had a great time and hoped to take her out again soon. It’s been three days since the terrific date, and she has not called you back. Why won't she call back? You're confused. You have replayed the date over and over with all your friends. You've asked for their opinion about why things are unfolding the way they are. Is she busy? Away? Involved? You've over-analyzed it to death and can’t stop checking your phone. You even start thinking that maybe it was the message you left. Why did you say that you had a good time? Was that a turn off? You didn't connect Well, it’s actually none of those things. The reason she has not called back is that she simply does not feel the same way that you do about the date -- or about you. The explanation? You probably failed to emotionally connect with her.      Let me explain it this way: How many of you have gone out, met a woman, scored her home number, and then said to yourself, "Why won't she call back?" Probably a lot. That happens when you have failed to connect with a woman and distinguish yourself from the other guys who are also hitting on her. The next day, she probably has no idea who you are.     It’s the same idea on a date. When she leaves that date, she needs to know something about you that makes her feel “connected” to you. That you shared something with her -- a moment, a laugh, an experience.  What you need to do If you want women to call you back, you need to focus on making an emotional connection with them. Men feel connected by sharing activities; women feel connected by sharing stories, words and emotions.      When you go on your next date, ask yourself, "What three things did I learn about her?" and "What did I share about myself with her?" The answers to those questions are what build a relationship.      If you want to get better at this and advance to date No. 2, you have to work at it. You have to learn how to connect emotionally with women. One way is to start talking to women as you would speak to any friend. Pay attention to the details of what she tells you. Remember the names of her friends, where she went to school, where she grew up. Remember the conversations. Personalize your message by saying something like, “I had a great time with you last night. I especially enjoyed our conversation about your travels in Italy. How about I take you to that little sushi restaurant you mentioned next Thursday.” This is how you can let the her know that you are not one of the regular men that she has met -- that you are connected to her. Little shifts in how you connect with women will ensure a returned call. I promise.

When it comes to dating, relationships and marriage, guys throughout history have asked the same questions -- let’s call them the “Eternal Questions" -- over and over: “When is the right time to have sex?” “How do I know it’s time to break up?” “What do I do when she gets pregnant and we didn’t plan it?” These are the sorts of challenges I’ll help you deal with by addressing a new question every week. If you have your own questions you’d like answered, please email me. I’ve been helping people deal with these issues professionally for 14 years. On AskMen, I hope to help even more of you find some positive solutions and move your lives in the directions you want them to go.You went out the other night with this amazing woman. You thought that it was the most perfect first date. You thought she was into you. You left her a message the following day telling her that you had a great time and hoped to take her out again soon. It’s been three days since the terrific date, and she has not called you back. Why won't she call back? You're confused. You have replayed the date over and over with all your friends. You've asked for their opinion about why things are unfolding the way they are. Is she busy? Away? Involved? You've over-analyzed it to death and can’t stop checking your phone. You even start thinking that maybe it was the message you left. Why did you say that you had a good time? Was that a turn off? You didn't connect Well, it’s actually none of those things. The reason she has not called back is that she simply does not feel the same way that you do about the date -- or about you. The explanation? You probably failed to emotionally connect with her.      Let me explain it this way: How many of you have gone out, met a woman, scored her home number, and then said to yourself, "Why won't she call back?" Probably a lot. That happens when you have failed to connect with a woman and distinguish yourself from the other guys who are also hitting on her. The next day, she probably has no idea who you are.     It’s the same idea on a date. When she leaves that date, she needs to know something about you that makes her feel “connected” to you. That you shared something with her -- a moment, a laugh, an experience.  What you need to do If you want women to call you back, you need to focus on making an emotional connection with them. Men feel connected by sharing activities; women feel connected by sharing stories, words and emotions.      When you go on your next date, ask yourself, "What three things did I learn about her?" and "What did I share about myself with her?" The answers to those questions are what build a relationship.      If you want to get better at this and advance to date No. 2, you have to work at it. You have to learn how to connect emotionally with women. One way is to start talking to women as you would speak to any friend. Pay attention to the details of what she tells you. Remember the names of her friends, where she went to school, where she grew up. Remember the conversations. Personalize your message by saying something like, “I had a great time with you last night. I especially enjoyed our conversation about your travels in Italy. How about I take you to that little sushi restaurant you mentioned next Thursday.” This is how you can let the her know that you are not one of the regular men that she has met -- that you are connected to her. Little shifts in how you connect with women will ensure a returned call. I promise. Read more at www.askmen.com

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Sexlets - FREE - 15 Piece Trial Pack

Clipped from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/save-your-sex-life/201104/how-date-night-saved-my-sex-life

How Date Night Saved My Sex Life

Save your sex life! Do it in a little as 2 hours a week for sexy results!

Happy spring!

With a change of seasons come new patters and goals. I would like to propose that having a weekly date night will save your sex life.

Doesn't matter if your current sexual relationship is hot or not.

Couples who commit to having time alone together on a regular basis are helping their relationship in two separate ways. First, the time together spent talking, sharing and participating in an activity will help create and maintain our emotional intimacy bond.

Second, having time alone together will help protect our privacy from the incursions of kids, jobs and the stress of life. In short, having and maintaining an emotional connection will contribute to saving your sex life by keeping you close and prioritizing your relationship.

Some couples struggle with this weekly date night concept. "we are so busy, we don't have time, " or "we don't have any childcare," or the real reason "I would rather have that time alone or with my kids."

Most of the reason, in my professional opinion, that the state of marriage is in decline and the quality of our sexual connection is horrid is because we don't take the time necessary to be in connection with each other.

If you want evidence of this just look at America's sexual script.

A sexual script is essentially a template of what a couple does sexually when they are together. An example of a good sexual script includes kissing, foreplay (giving and receiving) and intercourse.

As a Marriage and Sex Therapist seeing patients all day long, the sexual script I often hear from couples experiencing sexual or marital dissatisfaction usually predictably goes something like this.

The man will initiate sex by verbally asking "Do you want to?", this is followed by 30 seconds of kissing (although sometimes this part is completely optional) followed by dry and disconnected intercourse.

I don't know about you but to me this sounds like a recipe for disaster, which includes being very depressed about the way we go about being sexual. This is why low sexual desire is rampant in the world today; it's because who desires to do that? Lame with a capitol "L", right? Masturbating just began to sound more satisfying . What I tell couples to move forward is to set aside a consistent time and day in their week to connect, it's like having an emotional intimacy date to get back in connection over dinner, cocktails or a walk.

Then, I suggest that we mutually agree to follow up the emotional intimacy date with a physical intimacy date that includes kissing, touching, foreplay and ultimately sex. No rushing, let the script last 30-45 minutes, if you lose your erection don't panic, just focus on doing another activity such as foreplay to see if you can regain it. Most scripts are rushed through because of the worry of erection loss.

By focusing on having that weekly date time set aside, you can accomplish reconnecting emotionally and sexually and protect your relationship from deteriorating.

By having a longer and more satisfying sexual script, you will eliminate sexual dysfunction by allowing your bodies to become fully aroused and relaxing into the process of sex.

Remember that poor excuse of "we don't have time" or "we can't find a sitter", trust me when I say organizing these components is a lot simpler and cheaper than organizing a separation or a divorce because someone feel unhappy and ignored.

Save your sex life and ultimately your marriage by making the commitment to yourselves and each other to give the gift of a weekly connection.

A healthy connection in your relationship is the gift that keeps on giving, all four seasons. Read more at www.psychologytoday.com

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5 Ways Art Can Inspire Better Sex

 

5 Ways Art Can Inspire Better Sex

Creating a hotter sex life doesn’t have to mean watching dirty movies or filling up the drawer with goodies. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that). But, it can also mean raising the sensuality factor in your everyday life. Of course, that can be tough when kids and pets and household duties abound.

So, why not look to the arts for a little inspiration? Art is, or at least can be, all about expression and sensuality. And it can be an ideal way to tap into your sexuality, too. Some call sex “the art of lovemaking.” That’s because it’s not just about biology. Sure, naked bodies are nice and all, but great sex is about the artfulness in the doing.

Here are five ways to bring the art back to the bedroom.

1. Visit a museum together – Spending the day immersed in color and exploring the human form is a fabulous way to click the sensuality switch in your brain to the on position. Even if art isn’t generally your “thing,” it can’t hurt to give it a whirl. Holding hands while walking through a gallery or wandering through a sculpture garden pointing out the pieces that speak to you is a fantastic way to connect with your partner in a real sensory way.

2. Photograph or draw one another – You don’t have to be any good at it. The point is to look at one another – really look – for a change. The color of your partner’s skin. How he or she looks in the light of the morning or the shadow of the afternoon. And the chance to examine one another goes both ways. The muse can often become as inspired as the one doing the painting or photographing. Being gazed upon by the right “artist” can make a person feel very sexy.

3. Finger paint together – It may sound silly. But the feel of paint is very sensual. And getting your hands into it together can make it even more so. You don’t even have to use standard finger paint and paper either. All kinds of things in the kitchen can fit the bill, making clean-up a lot tastier. (Think chocolate pudding and whipped cream).

4. Take a pottery class – Working with clay can be a very sensual experience. (Don’t make me mention that scene in "Ghost" again…) Taking a class together can be great fun. But even taking it alone can leave you inspired. There’s something about the texture of clay and the way it moves through your hands that can put you in a very erotic state of mind.

5. Make yourselves into works of art – Try chocolate body paint and a soft brush or chocolate sauce and your fingers. Or opt for paintable latex or body-safe paint and get really creative. Make a rule – No fooling around, only painting, until your living work of art is done. A long “drawn-out” tease between “painter” and “canvas” is sure to lead to a masterpiece between the sheets.

Improving your sex life, or even maintaining a thriving sex life, demands focus. And art is an ideal focal point for that pursuit. Plus, there are so many different kinds of art, that there is sure to be something for everyone. Whether it’s looking at it or creating it, art is inspiring. It inspires some to create more art. It inspires others to do good works, invent marvels, or even to heal people. The key word is inspire.

And nothing holds a candle to truly inspired sex. So why not seek sensual revelation in the world of art? The only thing you have to lose is the key to a world of great sex.

Jenny Block is a freelance writer based in Dallas. She is the author of "Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage." Her work appears in "One Big Happy Family," edited by Rebecca Walker and "It's a Girl: Women Writers on Raising Daughters," edited by Andrea Buchanan. Visit her website at www.jennyonthepage.com or check out her blog at www.jennyonthepage.blogspot.com. Read more at www.foxnews.com

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Bedroom Faux Pas

Clipped from collegecandy.com

Sexy Time: Bedroom Faux Pas

I think it’s safe to assume that after a few years of sexual activity, most people have a few “oh god” stories of bedroom disasters. These are the ones that make it into the “it doesn’t count” category. You know, when something happens that, you know, just shouldn’t have happened.

When you throw two naked and probably a little awkward (or drunk) young adults into a bed together, hilarity and embarrassing moments are sure to ensue. We’ve all experienced it, hell, we may have even been the perpetrators of some unappealing bedroom behavior.

So here it is, a list of the most frequently committed bedroom faux pas to be avoided by everyone. We all know accidents can happen, but let’s do our best to avoid them, shall we?

48 Hour Rule.I think it’s a pretty fair rule of thumb that no one’s genitals be expected in another’s mouth if personal hygiene has not been tended to in the last 48 hours. No, I don’t think genitals are “icky,” but a good shower seems like common courtesy.

Trash Can Condoms.If you’re a single lady who is enjoying some NSA booty every once in a while (or a lot, whatever), for the love of all things holy, please empty your trash as much as possible. There is NOTHING sexy about going to throw a condom (or dental dam) in the trash and seeing a previously used one… from someone else.

Lies! I can’t say it enough, don’t ever fake it. No one likes being lied to, and a bit of an ego bruise is worth the truth. If it’s not happening, it’s not happening — you shouldn’t feel the need to lie about it.

Business Socks. You can blame Flight of the Conchords for this one, but dirty socks should be taken off before everything else. If your underwear is off, your socks should be too. Also, as my best friend pointed out, make sure the sock you duct tape into your (consenting) partner’s mouth isn’t the same one you’ve been sweating in all day long. Ew.

A rose by any other name… It’s hilarious as a scene in a rom-com, but in real life, calling out the wrong name is certainly not so sweet. C’mon ladies, keep the Johnny Depp fantasies in your head, please.

The Blame Game. Sometimes sexual organs don’t work the way they are intended. Penises remain flaccid and vaginas are as dry as the Sahara. That does not give anyone the right to blame their partner for their failure to perform. Just smile, say it’s not working, and flick on The Office. Or better yet, offer up some no-need-to-reciprocate love. Or do both at the same time — everyone wins.

What are the biggest bedroom faux pas you’ve encountered? Let it all out; we’re here for you. Read more at collegecandy.com

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When men don’t want sex

Clipped from pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com

“Not tonight, honey. I have a headache.” How many times has a guy heard that before? Husbands around the world are all too familiar with being sexually rejected. But now, more than ever, those words, (or some variation), are being expressed by men, to their female partners. While the conventional wisdom has been that it’s usually the woman in the relationship who inevitably loses interest in sex, the opposite is often true. Low male desire is at all-time high, and is likely to occur for any number of reasons:

Biological. There are many possible physical causes of low male sexual desire, from heart disease, to antidepressants, to alcohol or drug use, to low levels of testosterone. If he’s ruled out other factors, it’s a good idea for him to pay a visit to his doctor.

Emotional. A guy’s sex drive is often closely tied to his self-esteem - when one suffers, so does the other. The economic downturn has sent lots of men into a funk: Job changes or loss, financial worries, and depression can all add up to a low libido. He may feel like less of a man, no matter how much his partner tells him that money doesn’t matter.

Relationship. Feelings like anger, resentment, and general dissatisfaction with his relationship can play havoc on a man’s sex life with his partner - but these issues don’t necessarily sink his libido. Sure, he may claim he’s not in the mood. But he may simply be putting his sexual energy elsewhere, whether into masturbation, porn, strip clubs, or an affair. What happens outside of the bedroom affects what happens inside the bedroom, and when men are bored in their relationship they tend to get bored in the bedroom.

Porn. The Internet has made porn much more accessible - and the frequent masturbation it triggers may be making men too worn out for sex with a real partner. As I’ve discussed before in this blog, men are masturbating 50 to 500 percent more than they would normally without Internet porn. So if a guy normally masturbated once a day, he might now be doing it two or three times a day. If he masturbated three times a week, he might now be getting graphic with his graphics 15 times a week. If you’re 17 and single, this might not be a problem. But if you’re 40 and toting a gut, it’s an issue - a real issue. Some guys may still feel mentally like they’re 17 years old, but they can’t have sex that way. Their bodies have changed and so have their refractory periods, the natural interval between erections. Guys with low desire may simply lack the mojo for real sex because they’re depleted from masturbation.

Your relationship itself could also be contributing to his low desire. While there are similarities between how men and women get sexually aroused, there are also some key differences. New research suggests that female sexual response depends on the quality of emotional intimacy and overall relationship satisfaction. That means that when a woman feels comfortable and secure in her relationship, she’s likely to feel more sexual desire - to the point where curling up on the couch in sweats and a T-shirt is more of a turn-on than donning some sexy lingerie.

But for men, this sense of complacency and comfort could work against sexual desire, especially if there’s less emphasis on novelty, newness, excitement, and visual stimulation, all of which play heavily into the stimulation of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that, like amphetamines, plays a big role in sexual arousal.

Sex ruts and mismatched libidos are common in any long-term relationship, but guys are generally more used to striking out and not taking it personally. We play the numbers and we know we’ll get another chance at bat, so it’s more a matter of continually stepping up to the plate.

But when a man is disinterested in sex, a woman is much more likely to take it as an insult or a reflection on her attractiveness, rather than looking at all the factors described above. Also, statistically, women are more likely to self-silence and bottle up their emotions than are men. So whereas a guy who wants more sex might lash out and say, “How come we never have sex anymore?” a woman is more likely to let her anger simmer and stew, which leads to resentment and might cause a woman to build an emotional wall between her and her partner, which will protect her from feelings of rejection.

But the truth is that sexual desire is not a light switch that just gets turned on and off. The media tells men over and over that women need more foreplay. But women also need to get with the same program and understand that male desire is like a dimmer switch: It unfolds across a spectrum and requires effort. Men are not just walking erections, ready to go whenever the wind blows.

Regardless of your gender, when a couple is dealing with mismatched libidos, the worst thing the partner with more desire can do is to give up on sex. Like Sherlock Holmes, the partner with more desire has to engage in some forensic analysis to uncover the clues and causes, and then take action to bring sex back into the relationship. From foreplay to fantasy, to enhancing communication and the overall quality of the relationship, there’s a lot you can do to foster a satisfying sex life. So start talking with each other, share a fantasy or two, and take a few aspirin for that “headache.” Your relationship will thank you.And if you need a little extra help getting sexually creative, check out the Good in Bed Guide to 52 Weeks of Amazing Sex. Read more at pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com

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Flexisexual: Girls Who Kiss Girls, But Like Boys

Girls Who Kiss Girls, But Like Boys

Ever since Madonna planted that wet kiss on Britney Spears in front of millions of television viewers at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards, women have been loosening up sexually with other women. These so-called flexisexuals say that although they are not gay or even bisexual, they enjoy flirting and kissing girls -- but they still enjoy having sex with men. Experts say they may be influenced by the growing visibility of same-sex couples and more open attitudes about sex in general. Pop culture, itself, seems to celebrate that flexibility in songs like Katy Perry's, "I Kissed a Girl," a song that 19-year-old Alisha Garrison said "made girls be more free to do whatever they want." "It's not really experimenting, but maybe trying to get some attention," said Garrison, an urban planning student from Simi Valley, Calif. Perry admits in her lyrics, "I got so brave, drink in hand, I lost my discretion." Flexisexual is also known as heteroflexible, pansexual or queer, all subtle variations that mean they are not closing any doors. Women say it has has more to do with their view of the world than their practice in the bedroom. "When I was younger, girls bounced around in high school about sexuality," said Jamilla Wright, a public relations major at the University of Texas. "I think the older we get the more comfortable we are with it being based more on the individual than either-or as far as sexuality is concerned." "Labels matter less," said the 21-year-old. Hollywood has its own examples: Lindsay Lohan, 24, who dated Samantha Ronson, denied she was a lesbian and "maybe" bisexual. She has since returned to men. Angelina Jolie, 35 and now happily ensconced with Brad Pitt, had a sexual relationship with Jenny Shimizu. And Drew Barrymore, 35, has reportedly said, "Being with a woman is like exploring your own body, but through someone else." Flexisexual.net is a website where women can find "sexy, open-minded women looking to explore their sexuality, chat, hook up with and more." "This is where straight women who feel curious about bisexual passion or romance start out," it says. "The common interest makes it easy for like-minded individuals to connect with each other and find someone compatible, compared to leaving it up to chance." For many of today's women in their late teens and 20s, openness to intimate physical relationships with either gender has become a way of life, rather than an "experiment." This relatively new phenomenon is likely a product of a generation unconcerned with labels. Often, it begins in the enlightened college cocoon, where women can explore their sexuality, though a recent ABC report from San Antonio, Texas, said flexisexuality is also part of the high school culture. Experts say more sexual experimentation occurs when people have not yet found a partner, before they settle into monogamous relationships. College is also a safe cocoon for self-discovery.

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Cheating, Incorporated

Clipped from http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/11_08/b4216060281516.htm

At Ashley Madison's website for "dating," the infidelity economy is alive, well, and profitable

CEO Noel Biderman says monogamy "is a failed experiment" Finn O'Hara

Do you want to have an affair?

After hearing an ad on Howard Stern's radio show or seeing a schlocky commercial on late-night TV, you might find yourself on AshleyMadison.com—the premier "dating" website for aspiring adulterers. Type in the URL, and as the page loads a gauzy violet backdrop appears with a fuzzy image of a half-dressed couple going at it beyond a hotel doorway. "Join FREE & change your life today. Guaranteed!"

Setting up a profile costs nothing and takes about 12 seconds. First you check off your availability status: "attached male seeking females," "attached female seeking males," or, even though the concept of the site is that all users are in relationships and therefore equally invested in secrecy, "single female seeking males." Next you're asked for location, date of birth, height and weight, and whether you're looking for something "short term," "long term," "Cyber affair/Erotic Chat," "Whatever Excites Me," and so on. If you're like me, you choose a handle based on the cupcake you most recently ate—"redvelvet2"—and then shave a few years and pounds off your numbers.

Once you provide an e-mail address that your spouse would presumably never have access to, you're thrust into Ashley Madison's low-tech pink and purple interface. And then, if you're a woman, the onslaught begins.

There's a lone genius—possibly evil and certainly entrepreneurial—behind Ashley Madison. His name is Noel Biderman, and he's the chief executive officer of Avid Life Media, based in Toronto. "Monogamy, in my opinion, is a failed experiment," he declares. It's unclear if Biderman actually believes this—he's married and has two young kids—but like Hugh Hefner before him the business he has created pretty much requires that he say it. Behind his desk, in an office so lacking in embellishment it almost looks like a hastily assembled low-budget film set, is a large flat-screen monitor promoting his company's flagship brand. It reads: "Life is short. Have an affair."

Adultery has been good to Biderman, but defending his product is a full-time job. The day before our meeting, Ashley Madison had blasted out a press release accusing Fox (NWS) of refusing to broadcast its Super Bowl commercial. When I arrived, Avid Life's offices were still crackling with outrage, with Biderman playing the role of the unfairly maligned business owner just trying to make an honest living. While Biderman scheduled calls with reporters from CNN, ESPN, and a Peterborough (Ont.) radio station called The Wolf to discuss the perceived injustice against his company, a film crew set up lights to shoot a segment for a documentary about the "science of sin." Down the hall, the 107 programmers, designers, customer service agents, and marketing folk who run Avid Life's six websites—including cougarlife.com, for older women seeking younger men, establishedmen.com, which connects "ambitious and attractive girls" with "successful and generous benefactors to fulfill their lifestyle needs," and hotornot.com, the 1990s throwback where people rate one another's photos—were plotting Avid Life's digital push into the future.

"How could I not be angry?" Biderman, 39, asks of the Super Bowl affront.

One expects the guiding light of an operation such as his to be more like Joe Francis, the hard-partying creator of the Girls Gone Wild franchise, than Mitt Romney, but Biderman tends towards the latter: He wears a sports jacket and is preppy and well-built, with a tuft of hair at the tip of his forehead. Fox declined to comment on the Ashley Madison commercial, although it's worth noting that during the most-watched Super Bowl in history, the network broadcast an ad for GoDaddy.com, in which racecar driver Danica Patrick wears a skintight body suit, and an Adam Sandler movie trailer featuring a barely-dressed jiggling woman. In any case, rejection is nothing new to Biderman, whose business has grown in part through the predictable media attention that's generated when a company that profits by encouraging people to cheat on their spouses tries to push further into the mainstream. "I think when a landscape is tilted against you like that...isn't that how women the generation before felt when they couldn't get a fair shake in jobs? Because of their gender?" Biderman continues. "It's the same thing. I'm angry because it's not logical." Read more at www.businessweek.com

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First Kiss Is More Powerful Than First Sexual Encounter

Clipped from abcnews.go.com

Valentine's Day Tip for Lovers: A Good Kiss Can Seal A Relationship, A Bad Kiss Can Kill It

Psychologists report that most people can remember up to 90 percent of the details of their first romantic kiss, a memory that is even more powerful that their first sexual encounter.

The "Shoop-Shoop Song, (It's in His Kiss)," sung by both Betty Everett and later Cher, says it all.

"Think about all those date-movies where that long-awaited first kiss brings sighs and heart flutters to the audience and seals the deal between the couples on the screen," said Sarasota, Fla., psychologist LeslieBeth Wish.

"The lips are very sensitive tissue, with many nerve endings that signal reactions such as hot and cold, sharp and soft," she said. "These same nerve endings also activate our feelings of closeness and attachment by arousing the brain's love chemicals such as oxytocin."

On Valentine's Day it is worth noting that the romantic kiss may be underrated in a fast culture that celebrates booty calls, pornography and online dating.

"Despite the casualness of sex these days, kisses still pack a serious punch," said Wish. "Good kissers know not to swallow up the mouth of the other, not to jam their tongue down the partner's throat or knock their teeth. Kisses are such powerful connectors that the moment of the first touch can overwhelm you with pleasure."

It can also break the deal.

"The worst kiss is the kind when it feels like a serpent has just entered your mouth and is swirling around inside of it," said Severin Witte, a 22-year-old college senior from Brenham, Texas.

An estimated 59 percent of men and 66 percent of women end a relationship because of a bad first kiss, according to Sheril Kirshenbaum, author of "The Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us."

"So much information is exchanged with a kiss," she said. "One kiss and everything can be completely off. It's the ultimate litmus test."

Research for her recent book revealed that, as a rule, "men prefer open-mouth kissing, and women complain about too much tongue," said Kirshenbaum.

The kiss may even serve an evolutionary purpose. Men's saliva contains a small amount of testosterone that can, over repeated exposure, arouse a woman's libido and eventually persuade her to mate.

In a a study at the State University of New York at Albany, men described kissing as a "means to an end...something else down the line," but women saw it as a route to a deeper relationship, according to Kirshenbaum.

Women are also more sensitive to scent and taste, using their senses to detect if the man is the "right match."

"Kissing is such a good example of a behavior that is both nature and nurture," she said. "We seem to have an instinctive drive to kiss and connect in some way."

Man's earliest kisses were with the nose, kind of like the Eskimo rub, according to Kirshenbaum, probably allowing humans to reconnect with relatives and find out clues about a person's health.

Kissing may have moved to the mouth as humans became sensitized to the color red, finding ripe fruits for food. That may have led to a woman's red lips, an indicator of a potentially fertile mate. Modern studies show that the color red makes the heart beat faster and may be the reason why women still use lipstick.

The first mention of a mouth kiss -- "smelling with the mouth" -- was in India's Sanskrit texts in 1500 B.C. Later, in the third century A.D., the Kama Sutra instructed readers to kiss "the forehead, the eyes, the cheeks, the throat, the bosom, the breasts, the lips and the interior of the mouth."

Kissing went on to become an act of greeting or reverence, not only sexuality. Greeks and Romans chronicled kisses between slaves and owners; Christians kissed the hands of priests and popes.

In the Middle Ages among the illiterate, legal documents were marked with an X and sealed with a kiss. But by the time the plague arrived in the 17th century, a kiss became deadly and men were more apt to tip a hat than risk touching lips.

Some of the most memorable kisses have come out of Hollywood.

Burt Lancaster's famous kiss in the surf with Deborah Kerr in the 1953 film "From Here to Eternity," still ranks as the most memorable of all screen kisses, as rated by entertainment writer Erik Lundegaard. Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst ranked second in their upside-down kiss in the 2002 movie "Spider-Man," followed by George Peppard and Audrey Hepburn in the 1961 film "Breakfast at Tiffany's," and Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore in the 1990 move "Ghost."

Kissing can even be good for your health.

According to the American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry, when people kiss, salivary glands under the tongue and in the cheeks are stimulated to produce more saliva. The water, proteins, electrolytes and mineral salts in saliva keep the mouth healthy.

What makes a good kisser?

"I like when he takes charge...but not too aggressive," said Kendra Handy, 21, of Snellville, Ga. "I like to feel engaged -- kissing is about more than just lip."

Ashley Boyce, 21, of Bandera, Texas, said a good kiss has "just the right amount of tongue-to-lips-to-teeth ratio."

And it always has to be an appropriate setting, not a busy street corner or school hallway," she said. "In the 'Wedding Singer' they call it 'church tongue'!"

And women don't have to be gay to appreciate a good kiss with another woman.

Annette Bening told ABC News in a recent interview that her co-star in the film "The Kids Are All Right," Julianne Moore, was "at the top" of her list of great kissers.

"We've actually talked about this," Bening said, referring to Moore. "Because both of us have kissed a lot of guys, OK? That's the bottom line. So, we both agree we'd much rather kiss each other than many of the men we've had to kiss." Read more at abcnews.go.com

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