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We all have that 30-something friend who insists he’ll never get married because he enjoys his freedom too much to settle down. He likes his space, the ability to sleep with whomever he can lure into his bed, and the impromptu trips to Vegas. He doesn’t have to answer to anyone else when he spends his money on a giant TV with surround sound, and nobody nags him to pick up his socks. But is this idealistic bachelor lifestyle really as good as it seems, or is there a dark side?
More Sex
The joke is that marriage is the best way to kill a perfectly good sex life. But while single guys may think they are getting more sex, the truth is they aren’t getting as much as their married buddies, even if they have girlfriends. According to several studies, about 40% of married men have sex twice a week, yet only 20-25% of single men have sex that often, including those with live-in girlfriends. But does married sex mean sad, perfunctory sex?
Better Sex
Despite the impression that single guys may hold about wife sex versus free love with an unattached woman, at least two major studies concluded that married men enjoy a much higher rate of physical and emotional satisfaction with their sex lives. Married couples not only have familiarity going for them – which means less of that awkward early-days fumbling – but people in a committed, trusting relationship are far more likely to try new and interesting adventures in the sack.
Lower Stress, Better Health
Significantly better health and lower stress are two more areas where married men outperform singletons. Not only does stress contribute to disease, but married men are less likely to engage in unhealthy behaviors like binge drinking and smoking. Married men eat healthier meals and are more likely to consult a doctor about worrisome symptoms. Marriage also lowers testosterone levels in men, which not only improves a man’s response to environmental challenges, but reduces the tendency for risky behaviors as well, thereby making the consequences of acting like a macho idiot less of an issue.
More Money
Married men more likely to be promoted and receive higher performance appraisals at work, and earn between 10 and 40 percent more money than their single peers. The reason for this discrepancy is not clear, but it could have something to do with the major health benefits that come with marriage. After all, if a man is healthier, he’s less likely to miss work and more able to follow through on career goals.
Attractiveness
The grass is always greener on the other side, not only among yard work enthusiasts, but also among women. Studies have found that women are significantly more likely to rate a man as desirable if they have been told he is married. This phenomenon occurs for several reasons: women perceive committed men as more trustworthy, and as having fewer ulterior motives. There is no question that women also find that which is unattainable to be more attractive. Plus, due to lower stress levels, married men produce less cortisol – the stress hormone that contributes to belly fat. So single men may simply not look as good.
Happiness
Humans do better emotionally when in a long-term, committed relationships, which is why more married men report being happy with their lives than their single counterparts. In fact, 40% of married men said they were happy, compared to only 25% of singles, which makes sense given the better health, better sex, lower stress, and more money. You’d probably be happier, too.
Death
By this point, it won’t surprise you that married men live longer than singles. The benefits of marriage in every aspects of a man’s life are undeniable, and most are directly linked to less disease and longer life. In fact, the mortality rate of single men is a whopping 250% higher than that of married men, and not just because single guys are far more likely to weave a speeding Ducati through traffic on the expressway. Single men are also twice as likely than married men to commit suicide.
Whether it is the influence of women that so surprisingly improves a man’s life, or simply an innate human response to commitment, it seems there is no advantage for free-range males to stay that way long term. So sow your wild oats, boys, and then find a nice girl you can love. Picking up your socks is a small price to pay for a longer, happier life.
Tags: committment, marriage, men, relationships, sex
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