Memorable quotes - My Best Friend's Girl

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Memorable quotes for My Best Friend's Girl (2008) More at IMDbPro »

Tank: [sitting watching "Ghost" and crying] God, I'm a fag. Share this quote

Tank: She's gonna cry tears that form "call Dusty". Share this quote

Professor Turner: The truth will set you free but before it does; It's gonna piss you off! Share this quote

Tank: I would kick you in the ass, but my foot might get sucked in. Alexis: Well I would kick you in the dick, but my foot might get Herpes. Share this quote

Professor Turner: One of my teaching assistants and a very, very hard working woman. [teaching assistant exits [ Last night I fucked her to within an inch of her life. True story. I'm champin' her, head through the headboard, and I flip her over and she screams give me a choker. I play the choir boy and say what's that? Starwiped her five minutes later and she's bugging like an epileptic at a strobe light convention. Now I'm getting scared and as I'm working out the 911 phone call in my head she goes [makes farting noise motioning away from mid section] Professor Turner: like an airbag. And that was Tuesday night. Share this quote

Tank: The only funny thing that will ever come out of you, is me! Share this quote

Tank: I tried like a motherfucker to follow you in. But this door does like a lock thing when you are inside. Anyway here is what I'm thinking, we start with a blow job. I turn what most girls think is a chore into a training session. Share this quote

Tank: Is that your phone? Want to Answer your phone? Or are you most interested in me right now? Answer your phone! Oh no wait that is my phone. Share this quote

Tank: How was I suppose to know it was your sister? How was I suppose to know? It was dark, I was drunk and I thought it was you. Oh she's pregnant,too? You tell your sister, I will make a donation to planned parenthood in her honor. Share this quote

Tank: She could use a little more famine and a little less fried. Share this quote

Rachel: Tank, okay since you have yet to ask me anything at all. I should tell you a little bit about myself, I'm a social worker, yea I know what you are thinking, It is challenging work but so important. Tank: Woah, woah there big time. I'm a customer satisfaction rep at Airmeister air filtration systems. That is important work because without air, we cannot live. Share this quote

Tank: Look at you all white and thin. I bet if I laid you on this bar she could snort you. Share this quote

Tank: Whats the plan for tonight? Bring this girl back here. Pop open a bottle of chloroform. Insert tab A in slot b, repeat as necessary.

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Tank: [Holding up number from Alexis, who he just met] Daddy bee's got the honey. Share this quote

Ami: If "ifs" and "buts" were cocks and nuts, I'd be getting gang banged right now. Share this quote

Ami: Pretend it is a year aboard. Instead of going to Europe. You are just going to bang a shitload of dudes. Share this quote

Alexis: She's my roommate. Tank: I bet she gives great head. Share this quote

Dwalu: Treat her like a bowling ball [likes three fingers] Dwalu: STRIKE! Share this quote

Tank: How do I bump into her? Craig: She's a high school English teacher. Tank: I can't really hang around high school these days unfortunately. Share this quote

Tank: You are what we call a two bagger. That means I wear a bag on my head, just in case the one in you breaks. Share this quote

Tank: [Addressing Alexis] Well at least I can hide my shame in my pants. What really sucks is having the ass the size of a miniature Mediterranean donkey. Share this quote

Dustin: What about frosting my tips? Tank: What are you, a mini wheat? Share this quote

Tank: [after Dustin's eyebrow has been buzzed off] We can fix this right? Burt: Oh sure, why don't we just pop back into my DeLorean. Share this quote

Professor Turner: She fucks like an epileptic at a strobe light convention. Share this quote

Professor Turner: Making love? what is wrong with you? what is this some red book interview? Share this quote

Hilary: You're like the anti-cupid. Share this quote

Professor Turner: See I always knew your mom was the best it was ever going to get for me. And I never asked the more important question which is, was I the best it was ever going to get for her? Share this quote

Tank: I would part you like the red sea and let you call me Moses. I would open you up like a public pool on memorial day. Share this quote

Tank: What do you call that stuff AJ? AJ: "Afganhi cusho kryptonite". Tank: Killed Superman - I'm just a man Ami: You really like a super special kind of asshole? Tank: And I ride the special kind of asshole bus to school. Share this quote

Tank: I bet back in the day you were one hot slice of fuckberry pie. Merrilee: You bet your sweet ass I was. Share this quote

Tank: You can stop trying to be clever Alexis because the funniest thing that will ever come out of you is me. Share this quote

Tank: If I do this I'm gonna make it the finest tanking of my career, my bloody fucking masterpiece. Dusty she's going to lose her shit like a shit collector with amnesia. I'm talking about a Turkish twist epic mind FUCK of a tanking. Ok? Her brain is going to be rocking back and forth in the shower for like 3 weeks [makes whimpering noise] Tank: . Ok? I'm talking about demonic fucking Tank. I'm going to be flying up into the sky. She's going to cry tears that form call Dusty on the ground. Yes? Am I doin' it? Tell me I'm doin' it! Share this quote

Heavily Pierced Kid: Welcome to Cheesus Crust where pizza's a religious experience. How may I ordain your order? Tank: How is the Pizza of Nazareth? Heavily Pierced Kid: People worship it. Hilary: I am deeply offended. Tank: I know these prices are outrageous which is why I carry my Flavor Savior Card; fifteen percent off to those who eat here religiously. Share this quote

Kindly Stripper: When it comes to love, there is only one thing you can trust. It's not your friends. It's not your head. Its that little voice inside your clamburger. [In a different voice] Kindly Stripper: Listen to me Share this quote

Tank: Look at me. You look like Chewbacca and Sasquatch had a baby, and that baby took a shit, and that shit was blinded in a knife fight moments before styling your hair. Share this quote

Tank: Weddings, they get me hot and hard know what I'm sayin'? What you got goin' on down there? BOOM!, I want that in my fuckin' mouth. Share this quote

Ami: Hey, Alexis sent me to go look for ya so let's go. Tank: Just havin' a little chit chat with my friend. Takin' a breather, breathing. Fuckin' goddamn what do ya call that shit AJ? AJ: Afghani kush krytonite. Tank: Kryptonite killed Superman, I'm just a man. Ami: You really are like a super special kind of asshole, aren't you? Share this quote

Hilary: You people are sinners! Heavily Pierced Kid: You people should have thought about that nineteen years ago before you stopped my mother from going into that clinic! Have a blessed day. Share this quote

Tank: Yet, I am concerned that you've had a few too many drinks and now your fingers are in this bowl like it's one of your sorority sisters. Share this quote

Tank: I mean, baby, get your head in the game. Nothing tastes as good as looking good. Share this quote

Tank: Easy, Urlacher. Ever notice it's the linebackers concerned with people not eating? If the pussy police here would stop ordering her french fries tempura... Claire: I just had a child! Tank: Well, congratulations. I'm sure he was probably delicious. Looks like you downed the whole thing. Share this quote

Tank: [to Alexis' mother] So, are we gonna do this or what? [Stands up, steps in front of Alexis' mom and drops his pants] Tank: Come on, it's not gonna suck itself! Share this quote Read more at www.imdb.com

 

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