[ generating buzz ]: How to have a delicious sex life

How to have a delicious sex life

Great sex is like a great stew

Credits: Chef Therese Nelson

Having great sex is a lot like making a great stew. Sure, you can get the Dinty Moore pre-made kind in a can. But it will be nowhere near as satisfying as the kind that is made from scratch using fresh ingredients. The recipe is pretty simple. You gather your basic ingredients: meat, vegetables, seasonings and water. You will then prep those ingredients, bring them quickly to a boil, reduce to a simmer for a while (tasting and adjusting your seasonings along the way) and enjoy your delicious, slow-cooked stew.

The meat of you sex life is your physical being. It should go without saying that you should be as physically fit and attractive as you would expect your partner to be. Attention to hygiene and grooming are important since the quality of the sex is directly tied to the level of physical attraction the parties involved have to each other. To take it a step farther, there is nothing wrong with catering a bit to your partner’s preferences. If you know that he/she likes a certain cologne or a certain outfit or a certain hairstyle, it’s very grown and sexy to be responsive to that. You eat with your eyes first, just like you do with food.

The vegetables of your sex life are what makes it healthy and nutritious. Your attitude toward sex is important. Do you look at it as sharing or do you look at it as a responsibility? Worse yet, do you look at sex as a tool to be used to manipulate your partner? Sex is the physical manifestation of how you feel about your partner. It is the expression of the regard (or lack thereof) with which you hold him/her.

Safe sex is important. Get tested and know your status. For that matter, go get tested together. Discussion of your sexual history can be awkward but no one is asking (or should be asking) for charts and graphs. But you are right to be concerned with someone who refuses to discuss their sexual history. Birth control is a shared responsibility and it is important to be aware of what steps are being taken to prevent unwanted pregnancy. Condoms are just the minimum.

Creativity, spontaneity and an open mind are the spices that add flavor the stew that is your sex life. Here’s where you can get as exotic as you wish and why one couple’s “stew” might not taste like another couple’s “stew”. Sex is fun and is an opportunity to try new things. Activities like role-playing, impromptu quickies and sexy emails throughout the day keep things interesting. The excitement of not knowing what is coming next is a big aphrodisiac and a well planned seduction is a good thing.

Water or broth is what melds the flavors of the meat, vegetables and seasoning together into the stew. Communication and respect are the broth in which your sex life simmers and is important to all aspects of intimacy. Openly sharing you feelings about the physical, mental and emotional aspects of your relationship increases the level of intimacy and fuels passion. It is important to respect each other and to care about you mutual satisfaction. Two people working to please each is a win-win in most cases.

In preparing your stew it is important to select ingredients that work well together and that are pleasing to you. If, for instance, intelligence is important to you but you ignore that to choose someone who is hung like a horse (or has a mouth like a vacuum cleaner as the case may be), you set yourself up for a poor quality meal down the road.

Just as you initially bring your bring your pot to a boil when making stew, so it is important to make it hot early in the relationship. In the beginning you want to set the tone and hold your partner’s attention. The way you interact sexually from the beginning gives you a place from which to build and grow as you relationship develops.

As it simmers, you taste your stew and adjust the seasoning as needed. Sometimes you need more physical variety. This can be achieved with a change of scenery, like a weekend getaway or having sex someplace you don't ordinarily have it. Or perhaps trying a romantic game, reading erotica to each other or watching an adult film will spark new ideas to spice things up. A low steady heat ensures that your stew cooks at a pace that allows the flavors to develop fully and the meat and vegetables to be nice and tender. If you tend your stew carefully and season it properly, it will be satisfying, fulfilling and will taste better every time you have some. Bon apetit!